Friday, May 06, 2005

Firemen, Silent Cal, Muppets

Oklahoma sure has a regrettable origin. President Jackson sends the Five Civilized Tribes on the infamous trail of tears from Georgia to Oklahoma’s future footprint. Some argued that once moved there, these tribes could eventually be the bulk of an eventual Indian State with senators and a state bird. Eventually, some powerful folks decided that even Oklahoma was too fertile for the Indians to hog and so Uncle Sam sent the Indians packing and settlers moved right in. Yeah, this is probably not the most shining moment in American history.

If we are going to put Reagan on a piece of currency, let’s do the 20, not the ten-spot. I mean, fuck Jackson! The guy looks like Beaker from the Muppets with gray hair.

Where’s New Orleans? I got a battle to win!

Since this blog is beginning to resemble an 8th grade social studies class, I am suddenly sitting here thinking about my own trials and tribulations when I was just a young lad. There were some bright moments during my social studies stint: like when I was able to get war criminals off as an attorney for a mock trial, but there were some more regrettable experiences as well…

A substitute asked us to write a brief paragraph that said who our favorite president was and why. I figured most folks would choose the regulars: Washington, Lincoln, FDR, JFK. Not me… I said Calvin Coolidge because of his economy of words. I recounted the story of the woman who told Silent Cal he could get him to say more than three words. My man’s response: “you lose.” That’s golden and as good a reason as any to admire a world leader. Well, the sub disagreed and wrote all over it with big, red letters saying that I had made a terrible choice and supported it with pathetic reasoning. Broke, my poor young heart…


Usually the people most into an open marriage are either naïve or sociopaths who cannot love. I have feeling that Jennifer Wilbanks will soon be making this request due to one of these two characteristics. Why? Well, apparently she needs her firemen fix and her fiancé isn’t satisfying these burning needs.

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