Monday, August 06, 2001

I speak American, Bastard!

I know that it's on just about everyone's mind but they are afraid to ask. They are afraid to stand up for what's right. I am going to break the silence. Why is English still called English? It's time it is called by a more appropriate name, that of American.

I'm sure lots of you are thinking... What a dumb snobby American, he thinks everything he does is right and superior to other countries! Why should we change the name of our language to American?!! We weren't the ones to invent it, it belongs to those limey assholes across the Atlantic??!

To them I say peeshaw. English people don't know how to speak their own language. They have accents upon annoying accents. They have used their language to subjugate their own people. You pronounce a word a certain way, then you're lower class. The accent will stay with you, and the class distinction will stay with you no matter how much money you accumulate there.

Also, which country has the most people? That's right the Good Ol' US of A. Shouldn't where most of the people speak a language be allowed to own its name?

Thirdly or fourthly, I'm not sure which, when people learn our language they don't learn it with the arcane words or the stupid ways of pronouncing words that the British have. C'mon they call a lieutenant a "left-tenant" I mean what the fuck? They hate the French that much? Also they spell things so pointlessly. I mean the language itself is already flawed with weird spellings, but the British make it worse. Centre, instead of Center? Shouldn't letters be put in order? And what's with all the 'U's in things, they are just wasting time and in the process hurting the environment. Think about how much paper has been wasted because they add a u to Color to make COULOR. It adds up!! Think about the trees!

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