Sunday, July 29, 2001

Big Oatmeal

Yo, I have been silent about this for too long. I am tired of this shit, and I am going to speak up. Quaker Oatmeal is a bunch of bullshit. Ok, first off, what the hell is with the name? Is it "funny" to have an oatmeal named after a religious sect? Just because the Society of Friends is a small sect of Christianity doesn't mean it's all right to name a brand of oatmeal after a slang term for them. Do you think people would be ok if we had Catholic Oats? Or Jew Oats? I mean what the fuck, change the damn name.

Secondly, I heard on the news a dirty little secret about them. You ever get those fruit falvor vareity packs? Well guess what, the red thingys in the oatmeal ain't strawberries, they are dyed bits of apple or figs. Same thing goes for the peaches too!! If I wanted fig oatmeal, I would have bought fig oatmeal.

Thirdly, the last time I had this oatmeal I had a fun little present in them that wasn't mentioned on the box. I had fucking larvae or some sort of oatmeal in there. It was fucking gross, man. Do you think they could take that shit out before they give it to me?

In high school economics, we had to do a profile of some company that we would think of "investing" in. You know what I chose? I chose this same fucking company. If I had only known the truth. To make up for it I hearby retract my recommendation to buy Quaker Oat stock. For that matter, boycott the fucking company.

Oh yeah, did anyone have someone from NYPIRG stop by their house in the last few days? Well for those of you haven't there are students being paid by this Nader group to go around asking for people to pay to join their stupid group. Well, I already have paid them in my Cornell Activity Fee, which for some reason goes to help them achieve their goals. All right so this guy goes on and on about how these terrible big businesses have created these toxic waste sites. He said that the government and taxpayers were the ones who are now paying the bill to clean it up. He thought that I should join this fine organization in order to make sure that the businesses foot the bill. But to join the orginization I would have to pay 60 bucks. Ok, the tax money needed to clean up these sites probably is less than 60 dollars per person when it's broken up. So what's the point, either way I lose money, and this way I lose more money and I help pay Nader. No thank you.

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